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13 Roommate Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Live Alone Forever

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Suddenly, leaving two dishes in the sink overnight doesn’t seem that bad.

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1. Katie Notopoulos

My college roommate took off all her clothes to poop. Our room had its own bathroom. She would go in there (for pooping) and she would take off all her clothes. Afterward, presumably she would put the clothes back on. She thought everyone did this.

2. Austin Hunt

It was in freshman year of college. I’m sleeping on the futon below our lofted bunk beds, and all of a sudden I hear this drip drip drip coming from the ceiling. I’m in a slight daze, as it’s 5 a.m. after a heavy night of drinking, but I look up and I see [my roommate’s] legs swung over the bed frame above me. He’s blacked out and solid-stream peeing all over our dorm room. I frantically gain consciousness, as I’m being hit with the splashing of urine against the futon and carpet, and rush out of the room.

3. Chelsea Marshall

I lived with this guy who was a little weird and very controlling — the kind of person who desperately wanted you to think he was chill but was the literal opposite. He and his girlfriend would have loud sex to Pandora’s techno station, but because he did not have a subscription, in the middle it you’d hear “Nchnchnchnch — advertisement: Are you a vampire?? — Nchnchnch.” Anyway, between having sex to techno and vampire ads, he would break up with her and then call his dad to cry/yell about how she was a horrible, immature person. We had very thin walls and I could hear everything including the moment he forgave her: “She’s just been through so much,” he said. “Her brother was there when Plaxico Burress got shot.”

13 Roommate Horror Stories That Will Make You Want To Live Alone Forever
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4. Kristin Chirico

During my freshman year of college I lived with a very talented art major who was very, very Christian. She actually had a neat painting of Jesus on her boots, which was cool. Anyway, one afternoon, she was watching 7th Heaven, and there was a plot line where a male Christian character was dating a Jewish girl, and they were having an argument about something dumb. “I just don’t understand how those two could be together,” she said to me. “Yeah, I know,” I replied. “Those two characters are always fighting.” She then responded: “No, I mean, I just don’t understand how that Christian guy could date anyone who is going to hell.”

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