Kelly Clarkson’s recent performance of her upcoming Chemistry album took an emotional toll. The musician previewed the album at a Los Angeles concert in celebration of her 41st birthday recently. Following her performance, Clarkson reflected on the difficulties of singing those songs to Entertainment Weekly. “The emotions kind of murdered me,” Clarkson told the outlet yesterday (May 8). The artist even paused and apologized to the crowd after feeling overwhelmed.
Though the “Stronger” singer’s rehearsals were described as “pretty flawless and easy and great.” But she says that her overwhelming feelings were “just like a wave washed over me.” Since her divorce from ex-husband Brandon Blackstock after nearly seven years of marriage, Chemistry finds Clarkson in a “very honest” space, she told the outlet, but she did scrap some songs that were “too truth-telling.” She said people will still hear the record and “be like ‘Oh, damn, she went there!’ and I’m like, ‘No, I promise you I didn’t.'”
As we previously reported, Clarkson wrote the album a few years ago and waited until she was ready to release it. The talk show host said she’s looking forward to sharing the music with fans who can relate to her lyrics. “No matter what album you’re listening to, it is kind of nice to have these people that went through stuff that other people are going through, and you just don’t feel alone in it,” she said. “Because I’ll tell you what, that’s the worst: when you’re in a crowded room, or you’re smiling for America while doing your job, and you just feel so sad and alone. That’s the worst feeling ever.”
In addition to releasing Chemistry on June 23, she’s gearing up for her Las Vegas residency in July. In preparation for the emotions that will inevitably come up during the performances, Clarkson had to previously adapt to tread lightly. She told EW, “It just takes time to… not really separate, but to get to where you can remember it but you don’t drown in it. You dive in, but you’re treading water.”
Following her birthday concert, Clarkson admits she doesn’t have control over the “pain” and “real fresh” emotions “when one is still, daily, trying to come out on the other side.” She added, “It’s supposed to be what it’s supposed to be. You have to learn to let that go and live in the moment, whatever it is.”