Florida Man Uses Garden Hose as Weapon of Choice in Property Dispute
If there’s one this the Florida Man Believes in… it’s Lawn and Order. According to WFLA, Jeffrey Rutfield, a 62-year-old man, decided he was gonna defend his property line like his life depended on it… With a garden hose. Move over, Longmire, we’ve got a new sheriff in town! Or, well, not exactly the sheriff, but the sheriff’s office had to get involved.
So there’s this woman, minding her own business, probably watering her garden or daydreaming about having normal neighbors. But little did she know that Jeffrey was about to unleash the full fury of his garden hose on her face! Who needs a super soaker when you’ve got a garden hose, right?
Now, of course, the woman didn’t take this aquatic assault lightly. She was mad, she was wet, and she was determined to protect herself. So, what’s the logical next step? Point a gun at the guy! I mean, hey, you spray someone in the face, and they’ll counter with a firearm display . It’s basic Floridian etiquette, right?
But don’t worry, folks, it’s not as bad as it seems. The victim didn’t go all John Wayne on him for no reason. She genuinely believed Jeffrey was about to go all karate kid on her. So, in her best self-defense move, she wielded the firearm and waited for the real cops to arrive.
Wet ‘n Wild:
Fast forward to the deputies showing up on the scene, and they do what they do best – they investigate. Turns out, Jeffrey’s property protection plan wasn’t as bulletproof as he thought. The evidence showed that the woman was innocent of any property line trespassing. Oops! Someone didn’t measure their lawn correctly!
But here’s the kicker… not only was Jeffrey mistaken, but he also decided to turn this into a thrilling game of “Follow the Lady.” According to the cops, he stalked her in an “aggressive manner.” Ah, nothing says “I’m a good neighbor” like aggressively tailing someone, right?
In the end, the curtain closed on this lawn drama, and Jeffrey got a one-way ticket to the county jail for “simple battery.” Now he’ll have plenty of time to ponder over the importance of property lines and the proper use of garden hoses.
The next time you have a dispute over property boundaries, remember don’t let things escalate to a full-blown water fight and definitely leave the garden hose at home. It could get ugly.