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WiLD Bunch Mornings

Man’s Spitfire Assault: Attacks Florida Woman Holding Baby in Arms

Author Budman

In a bizarre incident, a Florida woman found herself in danger after engaging with a crazy man on a scooter. In a disturbing act of aggression reports reveal that the man not only attacked a woman but did so while she held an innocent infant in her arms.

According to WPLG, the woman was peacefully strolling down Maloney Avenue on Stock Island, minding her own business with her baby. But, then out of nowhere comes Mr. Jeanty Falando Altenor, the not-so-friendly neighborhood man with a mission to cause mayhem.

He allegedly attacked the poor woman! And not just any attack, this was a full-on assault with a side of hate. This 33-year-old Florida man had a checklist of charges that included battery, child abuse (yes, you heard that right), and false imprisonment. False imprisonment? What, did he think he was running some twisted daycare for criminals?

According to the victim, Altenor went full Hulk mode and started spitting on her. Who does that? That’s not even remotely polite! Then, to top it off, he used his fists, feet, and, a child’s scooter to attack her.

Florida Woman threatened:

As if the whole circus act wasn’t enough, there were three small children witnessing this madness. I can only imagine what they’ll tell their friends at show-and-tell. “Hey, guess what? My dad attacked a lady with my scooter!” That’s definitely going to win the “Most Unforgettable Parenting Moment” award.

The Florida woman claimed Altenor also threatened to kill her if she dared to report the whole incident to the police. Seriously, dude, have you heard of subtlety?
In the end, I’m relieved to report that there were no life-threatening injuries. Thank goodness! The Monroe County Officials did their thing, got their warrants, and threw Mr. Altenor into the slammer where he belongs. It’s not every day you see a Florida man pulling off a triple threat of absurdity like this, and I hope it stays that way.

'Faulty Elevator' Destroys Florida Man's $250,000 Ferrari Roma

Does insurance cover this? I’m looking at the picture still wondering how this happened. A quarter million dollar Ferrari Roma smashed up at the bottom of a car elevator.

Judging by the pictures, it looks like this happened at Ferrari of Palm Beach. Reports say a car elevator malfunction caused the car to hang in the elevator shaft. The drop must have pierced the fuel tank as they had to call the fire department to deal with the gas leak. They had to shut off the power to the dealership and clean up the gas before they could continue. Then it’s heavy equipment time.

Time to call a real Florida Man with a giant tow truck with a 45 foot boom and multiple 50,000 pound winches to pull that car out of the hole. I don’t know who’s car this is, but since the fire department blurred out the license plate I’m guessing the car may have belonged to a customer. Imagine owning a quarter million dollar car and have it fall off an elevator. My car is worth no where near that much and I’d be pi**ed. Maybe they were considering trading that V8 Ferrari Roma for the new V12 anyway. That insurance check gonna be more than what I paid for my house.

 

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.

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Author Budman
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