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Flushed with Jealousy: Florida Man Uses Toilet Seat in Alleged Assault

Author Budman

A 68-year-old man from Holly Hill found himself in hot water after allegedly wielding a toilet seat as a weapon. Carl Booth’s attempt at a porcelain-powered violence resulted in his arrest on a felony charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. No, seriously, a toilet seat. That’s not your typical arsenal.

According to the scoop from the authorities, the cringe-worthy showdown unfolded when a lady wandered into their shared living quarters. Instead of offering a polite greeting or some snacks, Booth allegedly commenced a shouting match. He then grabbed the nearest toilet seat and gave the woman’s noggin a couple of swats.

So, what sparked this restroom rumble, you ask? Well, the victim claims it was all about jealousy. Booth apparently had his heart set on a romantic relationship that never quite blossomed, leading to this rather, shall we say, unconventional display of affection.

Toilet Seat Assault:

Booth tried to spin a different yarn to the deputies however. He suggested that the lady had a date with gravity and ended up taking a tumble on the stairs, thus injuring her left side. Unfortunately for him, the evidence didn’t quite align with his version of events. The injuries were mysteriously on the right side of the woman’s head, making it tough to sell the stair-diving story.

When the deputies ventured into the battleground, they stumbled upon the alleged weapon of choice… The detached toilet seat, complete with a smidge of blood and a souvenir in the form of a piece of hair from the victim. It’s safe to say the crime scene was not what they’d anticipated when they donned their badges that morning.

As they say, the proof is in the porcelain, and the authorities had enough to slap Booth with an aggravated battery charge. Adding a dash of spice to the mix, the records revealed Booth’s past performances, featuring multiple battery convictions.

In an ironic twist, Booth managed to flush his way out of jail by forking over a $2,500 bail.

Florida Man Criminal Found Hiding In A North Fort Myers Attic With His Face Against The Air Duct To Breathe

Over the weekend the Lee County Sheriff’s Office responded to a burglary in progress at a home on 4th Way in North Fort Myers. When the cops entered the house they could hear the Florida Man criminal walking in the attic. Also, they found a 5 gallon bucket on the floor under the attic access and insulation on the floor. This Florida man needs to work on his ninja stealth abilities. But he was resourceful in other ways.

The deputies yelled for him to come down out of the attic, but Florida Man did not respond. The cops put a non lethal gas canister into the attic to smoke him out. He buried himself in the insulation with his face against the air duct system to breathe fresh air. No go on the smoke.

So they had to go up there and get him. Keep in mind how hot it gets in a Florida attic. That’s when Florida Man Bruce Davis surrendered. Dude’s covered in itchy insulation and the cops are like “we should take his picture first”. I get it, this pic could make some solid memes.

What was he doing in the house? According to LCSO “A search of the home also revealed a broken window, appliances in use, and tools scattered throughout the residence. ” Appliances in use? Was he making a smoothie? Doing laundry?  This Florida Man criminal was charged with burglary and resisting an officer.

 

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.

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