Robert the Doll Ready to Haunt Fantasy Fest Parade

What do you get when you mix Robert the doll, AKA the world's most haunted doll, with Key West’s wildest party? You get this year's Fantasy Fest, and it's about to get a lot weirder in 2024. The Bud Light Fantasy Fest Parade is set to go down on Saturday, October 26, with David L. Sloan and his creepy sidekick, Robert the Doll, leading the charge as Grand Marshals. This ain't just some regular old parade. Sloan, who’s an author, paranormal investigator, and all-around spook specialist, is ready to bring the weird energy. And Robert? Well, this 100-year-old haunted doll from the Fort East Martello Museum has its own creepy reputation.

Back in the 90s, Sloan did some digging into Robert’s history and found out that there might be a cosmic portal linked to the doll. Apparently, something was unleashed. As in something cursed. Fast-forward to 2024, and Sloan’s plan is to reverse that curse by throwing the city into a full-blown 90s Neon Cosmic Carnival. Expect dancing dolls, neon lights, and some truly otherworldly vibes. I mean, what could go wrong?

Now hear me out… Weird things may happen. And not painted up nakedness. What if the parade floats stop working, the music cuts out, or a bunch of people mysteriously trip and fall? Will Robert be to blame? That doll supposedly messes with people who disrespect him, and parades can get rowdy. You know there’s gonna be at least one person in the crowd talking trash, probably after a few too many drinks. Next thing you know, balloons are popping by themselves, and people are blaming Robert the doll. Things could get a little crazy.

Then again, maybe Robert the Doll SHOULD host the parade. Look, parades are all about getting attention, right? You throw Robert the doll up there on a float, and you’ve got the most talked about parade in history. People love weird stuff. It's like putting a superstar on a float. And, hey, if you show him a little respect (maybe wave politely, don’t disrespect him), it could all go down just fine.

Now, Fantasy Fest is always an insane, 10-day party, but this year’s “90s Neon Cosmic Carnival” theme is taking it to a new level. If you’ve never been, this is the one to check out. Imagine an entire island partying while trying to fix a cosmic curse. You might even catch a glimpse of Robert the doll opening up that portal. Just make sure you don’t mess with the creepy little guy. This is his party now. You can get all the info you need on the festivities over at fantasyfest.com.

This isn't a post about the obvious. This is a post about what we as Floridians must do in Key West. We all know about the bars on Duval Street.  Getting your picture taken by the buoy. That's the tourist stuff and I know I'm guilty of it too. One time we went down for the powerboat races. We quickly got bored with it, ended up in a bar on Duval Street, got drunk and then on a bench in Truman Park. I had the most amazing discussion with one of the roosters that hangs out in that area. We talked about family, tourists, hurricanes, and stuff like that. It seems like most of my Key West stories are "we got drunk and...." I mean, why was at a rented house partying with a bunch of girls on a bachelorette party? Because I brought beer. That's the Keys that you always hear about. And let's not forget Fantasy Fest. Fantasy Fest is legendary.

This is a list of 10 must do things compiled by Key West resident Ian Wilson. Plus one bonus. So stop acting like you're from Ohio and go see the real Key West. The one the locals know.

There's remote islands out there waiting to be explored and the best way to get the whole scene is not by boat. Fly in on a seaplane. There's actually a seaplane that flies out of the Naples Airport, Salt Island Seaplanes. If you're already in the Keys, Key West Sea Plane Adventures can fly you to Fort Jefferson. Seeing it from above is truly unique and landing a plane in water? Wow.

There's a great kayak mangrove tour that heads out of Key West. Want a little more adventure? Kayak the Crocodile Lake National Wildlife Refuge in Key Largo. 

If the wind picks up and it's no bueno for diving or canoeing, sailing is always an option. The average cost for a Key West sailboat rental is about $950/day for 6 people. There's a lot of other options.

This is the opposite of sailing. If the water is calm and clear, the view from a paddleboard can be amazing.

All those things you can see while you're paddleboarding - get in there with them.

There's so many shipwrecks to explore they actually call it The Shipwreck Trail. Some are even 20 feet or less deep.

You can fish in Southwest Florida, but fishing in the Keys is just - different.

Definitely more adventurous than some of the other items on the list. More of a winter activity when the winds pick up. Anne's Beach is a popular destination for this.

When the ferry arrives and dumps off a couple hundred people things can feel a little crowded. The best time to explore is when the crowds aren't there. You can camp, or better yet, sail there or fly in on a seaplane during off hours.

As mentioned above, if you have the right equipment, you can camp near Fort Jefferson. Once the tourist leave and the sun goes down it's just you, the sea, and the stars.

I did this once. Rented a convertible Mustang from Hertz and drove. We took 41 towards Miami, south on 997 through Homestead and then US 1 through the Keys. Best way to do this is on a weekday or you'll get hung up in traffic but it's a great way to see everything. We stopped in Homestead and got fresh mango milkshakes. Stopped at Robbie's. Ate at little hole in the wall restaurants, and stayed at a BNB in Key West. It wasn't cheap, but driving the overseas highway was definitely an experience.

Here's the view from Marathon.

It really is amazing. This is takeoff from Cabbage Key.