Scooter Getaway: Florida Duo Tries Worst Escape Ever

A scooter? Really? Look, if you’re gonna try and outrun the cops, maybe pick something faster than an electric scooter. I’m not saying I condone running from the law, but if you’re gonna do it, at least have a little dignity.

According to the Volusia Sheriff's Office, this whole scene went down in Volusia County when the deputies rolled up with a search warrant on Lingering Lane in DeLand. James Burges, who clearly thought he was starring in his own action movie, tried to dip out in his car. SWAT had other plans though. They boxed him in and found what you’d expect from someone moving like that — fentanyl, cocaine, pills, and a loaded gun. That’s not "maybe he’s innocent" energy. That’s "you’re definitely going to jail" energy.

Meanwhile, his girlfriend, Nicole Wert, decided she wasn’t about to get caught sitting still. So what does she do? Grabs her brother, hops on an electric scooter, and takes off like a kid who just stole candy. Two adults, one tiny scooter, all bad.

The best part? It didn’t even last long. A helicopter was watching the whole slow-motion disaster. They didn’t even make it a few blocks before they crashed and burned — literally hit the ground — and cops swooped in like it was a nature documentary about bad decisions.

Now Nicole is facing charges for selling fentanyl, and her brother somehow skated by without a charge — at least for now. James, though? He’s buried under so many charges he’s not seeing daylight for a long time.

If you ask me, this wasn’t just dumb — it was insulting. If you’re gonna run, show some hustle. Show some creativity. Steal a motorcycle. ( Don't) Find a boat. (But leave it alone) Hell, run faster than a scooter. (You can try) But don’t be the mugshot that looks like you just lost Mario Kart.

Florida never disappoints when it comes to ridiculous crime stories, but this one? This one’s special. Two adults on a scooter thinking they’re gonna outsmart helicopters and cops on foot.

Can’t make it up.