Thermos In, Logic Out: Florida Man’s X-Ray Shocks Everyone

When I was a kid, there were a few things that made me feel like the coolest kid on the block—my Knight Rider lunchbox and matching thermos were definitely top of that list. I mean, come on—David Hasselhoff was the man! The guy could drive a talking car named KITT, wear leather jackets like nobody’s business, and still have perfect hair after a car chase. That lunchbox made me feel invincible. I still have it, sitting proudly on my shelf today like a mini museum exhibit of my childhood.

But as cool as that thermos was back in the day, there are just some places a thermos should never go. And one of those places, without question, is your rear end.

Apparently, not everyone got that memo—especially one Florida man from Winter Haven named Walter Frymire. According to FOX13, the 51-year-old recently made headlines for, let’s just say… making the world’s strangest “thermos deposit.”

Here’s how it all went down: cops got a call about a naked man in a public bathroom. By the time they arrived, Walter had his clothes back on, so they let him go. But instead of just walking away like a normal person, he decided to trespass on train tracks and threaten to kill a cop. Bad idea number one.

Once they got him to jail, officers ran an X-ray and discovered something that made even the most seasoned deputies say, “What in the world…” There it was—a full-sized thermos. Yup. Lodged right where the sun doesn’t shine. The sheriff even referred to it as his “exit ramp.”

They didn’t say what brand it was, but judging by the X-ray, it looked like at least a 20-ounce model. Not exactly pocket-sized. Medical staff rushed him to the hospital, where a “specialist” (and I use that term loosely) had the unlucky job of removing it. Turns out Walter had been keeping that thing up there for a full day.

Authorities said if it had stayed there any longer, he might not have survived. He also admitted to using meth for 28 years—which, honestly, explains a lot.

He’s now facing multiple charges (though surprisingly, not for thermos smuggling).

Moral of the story? Keep your collectibles on the shelf, not in your body. And for the love of all things 80s—don’t do drugs, kids. Even KITT can’t talk you out of that one.