Drunk Florida Man Arrested After Nearly Naked Mission To Find His House

Here we go again Southwest Florida. Every time you think you have heard the wildest Florida Man moment another one pops up ready to compete for that trophy. Now I am not judging anyone for enjoying a drink or two because I have definitely been there myself. I have sipped a little too much holiday cheer and felt that warm floaty feeling.

But I always have that voice in my head that says okay Budman, that is enough. It is time to head home and not end up drunk and in a stranger’s bushes. I can direct an Uber driver just fine. My brain has never checked out so hard that I forget my own address.

But this guy. Oh boy. His brain left the building before he did.

According to Gulf Coast News, it went down in Port Charlotte. A neighbor hears banging on the empty house next door. He steps outside thinking maybe a raccoon is partying too hard. Instead he finds a mostly undressed man. No shirt no shoes just loose shorts hanging on for dear life. This dude was allegedly trying to break into the empty house like it was his personal mission.

Not only that but he truly believed it was his OWN house. He even thought his girlfriend and mother in law were inside. Guess what? They were not. He did not live there at all. He actually lived a block and a half away in a completely different neighborhood. That is not a wrong turn. That is a total drunk GPS malfunction of the brain.

He ripped two screens off windows pulled so hard on the lanai door handle that he bent it then stopped because his feet got cold. Yes the great burglar took a coat break. That is peak Florida Man energy and I almost respect it.

Neighbors called deputies who found the drunk Florida man, stumbling around yards confused and trying to remember what planet he was on. He did manage to say his name which was apparently the last functioning brain cell he had left.

Once neighbors learned he actually lived just around the corner they only hoped he stayed on his own street from now on. A fair request.

He was arrested and taken to jail on a misdemeanor charge for loitering and prowling. So here is the lesson friends. Celebrate the holiday spirit but maybe do not drink so many spirits that you forget your own house. Stay dressed, stay aware and try not to become the latest headline starring almost naked, porch ninja guy wandering the neighborhood.

No one wants to be that dude especially when you wake up and hear me talking about you on the radio the next morning.