Dog Dragged Into Robbery After Owner Demands Woman’s Groceries in North Fort Myers
His dog thought it was a walk, not a work shift… Especially not one involving ankle biting and stolen groceries
Listen… if you’re gonna be a dirty, rotten criminal, at least leave your dog at home. I mean seriously, what did that poor pup ever do besides wag his tail, drool on your shoes, and wonder why humans are so dramatic? You know I love dogs. I always say there’s no such thing as a bad dog, only bad dog owners. And wow, did we get a prime example of that in North Fort Myers this week.
According to Gulf Coast News, it was Sunday, holidays were creeping in, people grabbing last-minute groceries. A woman leaves the Dollar General on Pondella Road, probably with snacks, ingredients, maybe some Christmas goodies. And then here comes Martin Ahkim Amparo, 29 years old, apparently starring in his own low-budget crime movie. He demands her groceries because nothing says “holiday spirit” like stealing someone’s baked-bean casserole mix.
When she refuses to hand them over (good for her), he hits her with the most ridiculous line ever: “Drop your bags and give them to me.”
Bro, relax. It’s groceries, not the crown jewels.
But then he makes the worst move a human can make.. He tells his dog to bite her. His dog! The pup probably had no idea what was happening. He was probably sniffing the bags thinking, “Ooh… is that beef jerky?” But nope, he gets dragged into human nonsense. The woman ends up with a bloody ankle, fresh bite marks, and one heck of a story for Christmas dinner.
And if that wasn’t enough, the guy steals her bicycle too. Groceries AND the bike? What is this, GTA: Holiday Edition?
Deputies weren’t having it. They rolled out the K9 Unit, Aviation Unit, basically everything short of Santa’s sleigh.. They tracked him down on Oak Street, arrested him, searched his house, and surprise! They found the groceries and the stolen bike sitting right there in the kitchen. At least the dude didn’t eat her snacks, I guess.
Here’s the thing: times are tough, I get it. Holidays can make you stressed, broke, overwhelmed… but bringing your dog into a robbery? Nah. Dogs are supposed to be symbols of love, loyalty, and maybe wearing an ugly Christmas sweater if you can catch them. Not running around North Fort Myers committing ankle assaults.
Let’s try to be a little more caring out there. Be good to each other. And for the love of Santa… stop dragging your pets into your crimes.
