Naked Robbery Turns Ordinary Night at Florida Meat Market Upside Down
Naked, masked, and pocketless, this Florida man proved once again that pants are important.
I’m not saying robbery is a good idea because it is absolutely not, but going completely naked while doing it is probably one of the worst plans imaginable. Then again, this is Florida, and if there is one thing we are known for, it is producing stories that make the rest of the country stare at us in disbelief. This latest story fits right in with that tradition.
A Florida man is accused of walking into a meat market completely nude and robbing it while only covering his face. That is right. No shirt, or pants. Not even shoes. Just confidence, poor judgment, and a mask. According to FOX 13, this all happened at BJ’s Meat Market in Lake City. Employees told officers the suspect walked in totally naked except for a face covering. Honestly, if you are working at a meat market and a naked guy walks in to rob the place, the last thing you are paying attention to is his face.
Naked Robber:
Police later identified the suspect as 24 year old Kobe Watkins. Officers reviewed surveillance video and said Watkins left clothing and other evidence along his escape route. Which raises an important question. If you are already naked, how much clothing could you really be dropping? Either way, leaving a breadcrumb trail of evidence is not exactly criminal mastermind behavior.
Thankfully, no one was hurt during the incident, and police were able to locate Watkins a short time later. He was taken for a medical evaluation before being booked into the jail. That medical check probably involved answering some uncomfortable questions and receiving what this entire situation desperately needed, which was pants.
Watkins now faces several charges including robbery with a weapon, exposure of sexual organs, just to name a few. It’sis a long list for one very bad idea.
I also want to take a moment to think about the police officers involved. I can tell you right now, I would not want to be the cop who had to chase down and tackle a naked suspect. Nobody wants to wrestle with a nude man. I am sure some people do, but personally I would prefer to keep my distance, especially when the crime scene involved a meat market.
And finally, let’s talk logistics. If you have no pockets, where exactly are you putting the stolen money? Every possible answer to that question is deeply uncomfortable, and none of them end well.
The lesson here is simple. Crime does not pay, clothes are important, and Florida continues to be undefeated when it comes to unbelievable headlines.
