Orange Juice is $7 a Gallon: Drink This Instead
Orange juice is now a luxury item, so unless I start taking out loans for vitamin C, I’ll be sipping tap water and pretending my body can photosynthesize.
I went to the grocery store yesterday with one simple goal: buy some orange juice. You know, just getting over the flu, trying to make sure my immune system is back in action. Nothing crazy—just some good ol’ vitamin C.
Well, turns out I was in for a rude awakening because OJ is now over SEVEN DOLLARS a gallon. And that wasn’t even the fancy, fresh-squeezed, made-by-angels kind. I’m talking about the generic, store-brand, “might-have-seen-an-orange-once” kind of juice.
So, I left the store with my wallet intact but my thirst for vitamin C shattered. But it got me thinking—if orange juice is now a luxury item, what else can I drink that won’t break the bank?
Here are five alternatives to orange juice that won’t leave you questioning your life choices in the checkout line.
Drink This instead of Orange Juice:
1. Tap Water – The Budget King
Ah yes, the OG beverage. Straight from your sink, chilled to perfection (or room temp if you’re a psychopath). Best part? It’s free! Well, mostly. Unless you live somewhere where your tap water tastes like pennies and regret, in which case, maybe invest in a filter.
Pros: Practically free, no sugar, no calories.
Cons: No flavor, doesn’t make you feel fancy, may contain "surprise minerals" depending on your city.
2. DIY "Juice" – Water With a Splash of Something
Since full-on orange juice is out of the budget, why not make your own discount version? Take a glass of water and add just a splash of whatever you can afford. It’s like juice… but watered down. You know, like how your mom used to do when she didn’t want you bouncing off the walls from too much sugar.
Pros: Still kinda tastes like juice.
Cons: Mostly just tastes like disappointment.
3. Coffee – Because Caffeine Solves Everything
Sure, coffee won’t give you vitamin C, but who cares when you’re too jittery to notice? It’s cheaper than orange juice, wakes you up, and makes you feel like a functioning adult. Bonus points if you brew it at home instead of hitting up Starbucks.
Pros: Cheaper than OJ, gives you superpowers (for about 3 hours).
Cons: May increase anxiety, does not go well with cereal.
4. Tea – Nature’s Hot Water With Flavor
Tea is like coffee’s chill, hippie cousin. It’s warm, soothing, and has antioxidants, which means you can pretend you’re making a health-conscious choice. Plus, there are a million flavors, so you can pick whatever matches your vibe—Earl Grey if you’re feeling fancy, green tea if you want to be healthy, or chamomile if you’ve given up on the day.
Pros: Relaxing, cheaper than OJ, makes you feel sophisticated.
Cons: Not a replacement for juice unless you’re really good at lying to yourself.
5. Sunny Delight – The Knockoff Orange Juice
If you’re truly desperate for an orange-colored beverage, you could always grab Sunny D—the chaotic cousin of orange juice. It’s not exactly juice (I think it’s like 5% real fruit?), but it looks orange, tastes sweet, and is cheaper than OJ. Just don’t read the ingredients unless you want an existential crisis.
Pros: Orange-ish. Cheap.
Cons: Less natural than a spray tan.
