Homeless Florida Man Swings Machete at Unsuspecting Cyclist
a homeless Florida man named Andrew Shattuck decided to spice up a boring Friday afternoon by coming at a bicyclist with a machete. Well, nothing tops off a nice bike ride in your neighborhood like being attacked a machete, right? According to NBC2, it all went down around lunchtime in Charlotte County when 40-year-old Shattuck, ran up behind a cyclist while shouting all kinds of nasty, racist, and homophobic things. And that’s when he tried to sling a freaking machete at him! You know, just your typical lunatic interaction.
Luckily for the cyclist, the homeless Florida man missed. The guy ditched his bike and took off, probably thinking this was the last thing he expected on his neighborhood bike ride. But crazy Andrew wasn’t done yet. He hurled the machete yet again! This time, the weapon ended up sticking in a nearby tree. Now, heres the thing… If you’re throwing a machete and you can’t even hit a tree, maybe it’s time to choose a
better hobby.
Homeless Florida Man Arrested:
Luckily, the Charlotte County deputies showed up and found Shattuck nearby. Oh, and guess where the machete was? Hidden in his back pocket. They then hauled off the “human Swiss army knife” to Charlotte County Jail, where the homeless Florida man is currently sitting, hopefully without access to any sharp objects.
The people living in the neighborhood near the attack are feeling a little better now that Shattuck’s off the streets. One guy said the man was always cursing at everybody, including his 3-year-old. The suspect was apparently walking around in women’s clothes with a full beard too. And another neighbor mentioned Shattuck was always yelling at people who weren’t even there. Makes sense. Andrew Shattuck isn’t all there either. At least they had something in common, right?
